Kaffy On Dating As A Single Mum Of 2

One time Guinness world record holder , Nigerians Dancer Kafayat Shafau popularly known as Kaffy has spoken about the challenges of dating as a single mum. 
 
While speaking as a guest on popular podcast, The Honest Bunch, Kaffy who is divorced from her ex-husband, Joseph Ameh, said a man once looked at her and said he cannot be in a relationship with her because she has two children.

kaffy on dating

kaffy is quoted as saying

‘’I have had someone tell me because I am a single mother he cannot think about dating me because I have two children.’What makes you think a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she has worked on herself? What is the guarantee that two single people today are not going to be divorced people tomorrow? So why are people feeling like ‘No I need to marry him fresh and I need to marry her fresh?’ Both of you are going into the same data that the world has computed for you that over 70% of marriages crash. You are part of the 70%.” she said

she also spoke about love and the “butterfly” effect.

“Do you know that a lot of butterflies in the tummy is a trauma response?  Real love brings peace not butterflies. Real love is not supposed to make you anxious.”

kaffy’s revelation is a sad reality of how single mothers are perceived and treated in a society like Nigeria, single mothers often have to prioritize their children’s needs above their own desires. This can lead to feelings of guilt when considering dating, as they may worry about how new relationships will affect their children. It’s crucial for single moms to communicate openly with their kids about their dating lives, so children feel included and understood. This transparency can alleviate some of the emotional strain involved in dating while parenting.

Dating as a divorcee and a single mother comes with unique challenges that many may not fully understand. With the complexities of past relationships and the responsibilities of raising children, entering the dating scene can feel daunting. It’s essential for single mothers to navigate these waters with confidence. The stigma surrounding divorcees often leads to misconceptions about their readiness for new relationships, which can be a barrier to finding companionship. Many men may hesitate to date a woman with children, fearing complications or the responsibilities that come with a blended family.

Furthermore, the dynamic of dating changes significantly when children are involved. Single mothers often need to introduce potential partners to their children gradually. This process can be challenging and requires careful consideration to ensure that both the mother and her children feel comfortable. It’s essential to choose the right moment and setting for such introductions, as well as to ensure that the new partner is respectful of the family unit.

Kaffy’s experience reflects a broader societal issue where single mothers face undue judgment. Many people mistakenly believe that single mothers are less desirable partners because of their parenting responsibilities. This narrow-minded view overlooks the qualities that single mothers can bring to a relationship, such as resilience, maturity, and a strong sense of responsibility. These attributes can make them even more attractive to the right partner.

The world of dating can be challenging for single mothers, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By embracing their journey and understanding the unique challenges they face, women in this kind if situation can pursue fulfilling relationships without losing sight of their identities as mothers. The path may be fraught with obstacles, but with resilience and self-love, they can find the companionship they deserve.

Ultimately, dating as a single mother requires a balance between personal desires and parental responsibilities. It’s essential to approach dating with an open mind while considering the feelings and needs of her children. As Kaffy highlights, real love should bring peace rather than anxiety, and this sentiment resonates deeply with many who share her experiences.

In addition to these challenges, single mothers may also face emotional hurdles. Previous relationships can leave lingering feelings of hurt, betrayal, or distrust. It’s important for women in this kind of situation to work through these emotions, perhaps seeking support from friends or professionals, to ensure they are ready to open their hearts to someone new. Acknowledging past traumas and understanding their impact on future relationships can empower single mothers in their dating journeys.

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